(for best effect try to imagine this diary being read in a cowboy voice )
Dear Diary ,
It has been pointed out to me that there are some spellin' errors in my diary - well , I blame my horse - it's real hard tryin' to type and ride at the same time ! read on and please don't mail me anymore pointin' out them there misstakes -
Clint X
JANUARY 2012
Well I gotta say it only seems like yesterday when I was saying HAPPY NEW YEAR and here I am doin' it agin !
Well actually I guess it was yesterday . . . . . . . . . . . . . I was at a new years eve party . Why do people say that - it's stupid - only seems like yesterday and it actually was yesterday - drives me mad and gets my goat I'm tellin' ya . I mean if people would say - oh yesterday I said . . .such and such and it seems like . . . . you know this really isn't relevant to anything . . please ignore this !
So what's happening this year ?
How should I know ? I don;t have a clue as to what's happenin' this year - you'll have to come along again and find out - that's why I do this diary thing - to say what's happening DURING the year - I can;t say what's happening before it actually happens - that would make me some sort of hula dula man - and that I AM NOT !
Goodnight and Happy New Year . . . .agin !
OCTOBER 1st - Well my friend Rusty and his wife Tasmania - queen of the flying trapeze have had a baby - first baby to be concieved in mid air - congratualtions R & T !
October 2011
Well hot darnit ! Bucky Calhoun and his son are at it again - this time they've taken one of my songs , changed two of the words and released it as a single - they have even taken a picture of me and my pappy and photoshopped they're own heads over them on the cover !
Anyways . . on a better note - I am playing in a very exciting place on the 13th - Worthing ! Apparently its a bit like New York . Im playing somewhere very English - The Charles Dickens as part of the Worthingcomedyfringe - well what more could a man ask for . . I don;t know alot about it except I'm playing for 15- 20 minutes depending on when ya'll start throwing bottles :)
WARNING : I may try something new !!! See you there
Clint
Just got back from three days at Camp Bestival in Dorset - had a great time - was just great to be on the same bill as some magnificent artist - Laura Marling , Debbie Harry - NEWTON FAULKNER - gee gosh - if you haven't heard this guy - just go out now and buy everything you can get your hands on - superb ! My show was on the very last day - actually was the very last show on the bandstand stage which felt kinda cool - yeehaw !
Now there hadn't been any daytime rain for the whole three days - until my show was about to start - so a huge country thank you to the folks who turned up with umbrellas and kept my hopes high . Also big thanks to the rain gods who stopped the drizzle as soon as I started . And thanks to all the people who showed up and made it so special for me , Simon Shed and Jef Leppard .
After the show partied with Primal Scream and drank beer !
I'm not sure if it gets better than this
Rock On !
Clint X
July 2011
So - I just been singing some country songs in an Art Gallery ! And that's my last bit of hollerin' before Camp Bestival then - a rest !
done a few shows lately - rode in a few rodeos and ate a few beans since I last saw ya and now Im ready for Camp B at the end of the moth . End of the month that should be , but who knows it may also be at the end of some sort of moth! Thanks to Jo Neary for having me in her show down on the Southern coast , thanks to the good people of Brighton and Hove for havin' me on in their fringe festival ( and I don't even have a fringe ) and thank you to the good people of Lewes for having me at the Con club - that really was a very enjoyable evenin' . But most of all thanks to all the folks who turned up at the Barn theatre to see me run through the CB show - and drink al my beer ! Actually , everybody seemed to leave a bottle of wine behind so that was a more than fair trade . See ya'll soon and thanks for keeping it Country and Western
Clint
MaRcH 2011
Yeehaw - Clint is ridin' again . Back on stage and gotta say I'm feelin' rusty . Rusty's wife has a few things to say about that but she's pretty understandin' generally - specially as I let her borrow my wheelbarrow . So did a gig makin' noises for all the acts as they came onto the stage at the Uckfield picture house - just to ease myself in - then first time on stage this year at Eastbourne with some very funny people - including the sound guy who actually had the controls for the PA upside down !!!! Everytime he wanted to add bass , he took bass away , everytime he wanted to take away treble he added treble - it was not the best sound I have ever had - but it was a great night and I'm looking forward to the next show at . . . . can't rememeber - check the homepage Clint XX
so Brighton Festival - Lindfield Festival and Camp Bestival comin up . It must be that festival time of year , Lookin' forwadd to seeing ya'll there - I love you all , I wish I knew you all Yeehaw Clint X February 2011
nothing !
Summer 2010
July 2010 Well It's been six months since I been in touch and what a six months it's been ! I been ridin' up and down to the smoke every day and I'm feelin' kinda saddle sore . Turns out an old invention of my Pappy's has become popular again . It's none other than the 'ol Tone Bender pedal - it's kinda like a fuzz box - makes the geetar all distorted - them rockers love 'em - me ? I kinda like pedal stee and a good 'ol twang but hey - Tone Benders seems to be where it's at at the moment . Now when I say he invented it that was kinda untrue - he owned the company that sold them along with my uncle Jeremiah - they sold them pedals to the big names - Led Zepperlin - The Yardburgers and all them 'ol hippies . Well right now everyones goin crazy for that sound again - so I'm trailin' back and forth from the ranch with my saddlebags full of them things - and I gotta say it's kinda fun - I get to test each one before it goes out - I'm turning into the first country and western metal mutha ! Alright - apart form that me and Jolene are lookin' to move house - the ranch is feelin' a bit tired and we think it's time for a change - we just seen a place ripe for a barn conversion - its a five bedroom house at the moment but it would make a lovely barn !
Ill be in touch much sooner than last time folks - stay cool
Clint X
January 2010 Well happy NEW year - see where I'm from we have the emphasis onthe NEW . . . . .happy NEW year ! well what can I say - 2009 flew by quicker than Slim 'galloping' Zaphoon - the fastest rider in the West . So - it's January and I've started writing a new show . . . it's kinda like the old show - but with all the insides changed - so new stories - new songs etc. Plus of course , I'm runnin' the new guitar shop - sellin' them there Gibson geetars - gotta love that ! So here's to 2010 - just wanna thank you all for those emails and words of support - will I be working with Count Arthur Strong again - I don't know - I think I kinda got on his nerves , playin' all my intruments in the hotel room every night - BUT I have got a piece of music on the Radio 4 show at last - so foot in the door to radio stardom maybe . . . . . . . . . . hmmm maybe not !
keep it country ya hear adios amigos Clint
October 2009 Howdy Cowpokes - Now I told you I aint been kickin' my heels sellin' them there geetars - well the head honcho has only gone and bought another store !!! If you're ever in Denmark St ( they call it Tin Pan Alley here ) come and say howdy - it's the white shop next to Hanks ! . . . Actually I'm gonna have to have a word with Hank - cardboard boxes all over the place - he's already uptight about my horse tied up outside - don't know what's the matter with these people - where were they brung up ?
September 2009 Well Hot Tomatoe ! I been a Spain - Viva Espana ! Spent a week in a friends house down South then rode back thru Valencia (pronounced Valentphthiaaaarrghh ) Madrid Bilbao - have been nibbled by fish - been cartin' which is kinda like ridin' a horse but very close to the ground , went in a floatation pool - wowee - made me feel like I feel when I been chattin' to 'ol Grandma Westwood for a few hours - went to the Warner Park - ROLLERCOATERS - I'm really gettin' too old for that stuff LA TOMATINA ! This is the World's largest foodfight - 35,000 people throwing tomatoes at each other - well what can I say - I thought Texans were crazy ! Smelly - filthy stinking toatoes everywhere - I loved it . Then The Guggenheim museum - well I have some culture you know - saw the big puppy made of flowers - the big boat full of broken plates - the big piece of metal - the wolves in the air - and the cars on the ashphalt in a row - my favorite ! So I get back - all relaxed - only to find they've bought another shop - I'm gonna be workin' my guitar plain' behind off till Christmas no doubt - so I don't see many shows in the pipeline :( But if something comes up and I have the energy to do it I will keep ya'll informed if you need a geetar - just holler keep it country ya hear
Clint
August 2009 I just don't know what to say - these Tonebenders are hotter than a mules backside after a long day on the trail ! If you don't know a Tonebender is a kinda fuzz pedal that makes yr geetar sound kinda . . . . fuzzy . Well turns out we're sellin an new one in the store and people are like campin'outside to get their hands on one . . it's crazy . They've even asked me to demonstate one and put it one youtube ! There's a link on the homepage - now I know it aint very country and western but it's kinda cool anyway . Now I'm kinda takin' a holiday for a couple of weeks - I'll let ya'll know what happens stay cool Clint
June 21st Well just come back from the glorious Big Love festival where I was kinda bowled over to be compering the big stage which was much bigger than I imagined (compered to a smaller stage) ! The day started with me introducin all manner of people singing all types of music - so not ALL country which was a bit strange for me . . . but nonetheless everyone had a rockin' time and rather than me doin a stint later transformed into me doin about 10 ten minutes spots which I loved - I didnlt know what was gonna happen next - I could just throw in songs here there and everywhere - Yeehaw . I particularly liked Porchlight Smoker - sorta bluegrass type thing - check them out ! The whole evening wound up about 1 am with more bands and fire dancing and allsorts like that . But I was happy to hit the hay by the end - hot damn I was ex-hausted - then in the night it got cold - real cold - I woke up shiverin and ended up setting my tent on fire to keep warm - an old cowboy trick ! speak soon
Clint X
Well I missed saying happy new year to yawl so a very belated one from all of us here at the ranch - Me Clint Westwood , my sister Jolele , our dog - limpin' dog , my horse Isme and all the animals - even the woodlice have come out to say happy new year !
So what's happened , I am on the verge of patenting my new human mouse trap - which is very fine - feel free to eamil me for details if you have a mouse problem . Buck Calhoun is still being a piece of gravel on my saddle - I have just found out how much it costs to get legal with someone - yeeeegosh ! Five big ones to even get started - but Bucky . . . .I'm a common' for ya - my pappy always said ' you mustn't let a man ride roughshod over your shirt ' . . . I think that was it - and Mamma always said Bucky was no good - well . . .WATCH THIS SPACE
watch it some more - you never know !
December 2010
Well hot damn ! Bucky Calhoun is back ! Just when I thought I could settle down and enjoy Christmas he's reared his ugly head - copying my ideas - pasting my name on his products - going paces with Jolene that he just should;t go . well Bucky it's time to get legal - I'm gonna run you out town good and proper - I hear you already got a ranch brewing' in Chicagi - well you can run but you can't hide - I'll be on your trail like a small piece of bracken stuck to a dog's tail ! JUST WATCH THIS SPACE !
Well that was really one crazy time - made it to a few of them there festivals AND I moved house - yes folks I really do now live in a barn ! Although to be honest , it's not quite the sort of barn I'm used to - there is furniture and walls and stuff . But I tell you what - nice place to get inspired and write some country songs - Country Roundup Award Presentations , here I come .
June 4th
Impromptu show
So I'm standing in the geetar shop sellin a geetar when this fella says 'how bout doin a show tonight ?'
Well I didn;t have my hat so I felt a bit put out , so I says - you buy me a hat and you got yourself a show !!!
And there I was , fifteen minutes later pickin and a strummin' away in an office in Greek Street with a pint of white wine !
If your interested it's a real new charity organisation called 'Leap Anywhere' - which I kinda do anyway - wherever I am - I leap - I love it - Leap anywhere !!!
check em out !
June 1st
Well - that was most enjoyable - a show at The Ropetackle - a birthday night even ! The 40th Birthday of Rob Banks - I'm serious - Rob Banks ! Well I enjoyed myself immensely, sharing the stage with my friend Randy Williams and Simon Shed of course - we was joined by Al Kerr and Daniel Beales doing their very funny sketch stuff then the damn purty Frankie Chalet from France with her accordeon and fishnet stockings !
A big country and western yeehaw to all you party goers - hope I see ya'll again soon XXXX
More May - Brighton festival
Just thought I'd let ya'll know that I seen a couple of good shows . . . . Dyball and Kerr - middle age rampage
and Jo Neary
( who was fab) at Bom-Banes - you gotta go there
- all the tables move while your eating and the lady who runs it sings with a goldfish bowl on her head .
Honestly
May 2009
new postcard !!!
So, what's bean a happenin ? Plenty of beans that's for sure . Last week . . . I was sittin' on the back porch , pickin' my banjo and chewin' om a dandelion when I realised that porch aint been painted for a mighty long time . . .so this week I been strippin, maskin, primin' and a-glossin' - now I just realised there's a country song in that !!!
Got paint on my dungarees , on my geetar , on my boots , on my face and on my hat . Even managed to get a little on the porch - but kiddin' aside , it's lookin' mighty fine - fine and dandy !
The guitar business is gettin' even hotter - looks like the head hncho is buying another store - and yours truly might just be in charge - how bout that? Clint's guitar emporium - yeehaw !!!!
Now there is a hint of a show comin' up - I must apologise for the lack of Clint action folks - but I just been run off my little 'ol country and western feet sellin geetars - as soon as this show's confirmed I'll let ya'll know - may even get the painting song in there - we'll see !!!!
until then
keep it country
Clint
X
April 2009
Been a few April showers here on the ranch folks - will speak with y'all and update yu real soon . Stay cool and counrty - Clint XXX
February 2009
Complaints! Now I'm gettin' complaints !
Now I know I aint been doin too many shows of late but no kiddin' the geetar sellin' is gettin' in the way - I'm sellin' more of them there holler boxes with strings than ever - and there's meant to be a recession - I don't even remember the cession - don't see how there can be a re-cession comin' round so hotdamn quick !
Now I promise in the next week I'm gonna write a whipcrackin' new song - record it and get it on my myspace - actually make that a month - them doggies aint gonna sell themselves . Anyways - watch this space . . . . . . . . . . . . if that gets a bit boring , watch another space for a while then move back to this space .
love
Clint X
The End of 2008 / The beginning of 2009
Well there it is ! The end of 2008 is also the beginning of 2009 - that's amazing - two things at once !! Well it's been one hell of a year - crazy time in the geetar store sellin more geetars than I care to mention - I'm now the main man in Londn for Gibson geetars - like Emmyloo Harris plays - yeehaw - gotta love that ! I'm selling so many Gibsons it's kinda enbarressin' ! We got a bit of a problem with Bucky round the corner doin his grey imports - that means he's kinda smugglin' geetars in and pretending there all fine and dandy - but they aint - so we're gonna have to round up a posse and run him outa town - watch this space .
Me and Jolene was sittin' on the train yeterday and we realised I got enough material in my saddlebags for a whole new show - so I''m gonna definetely consider thinkin' about that sometime in the near future - watch this space - that's two spaces you got to watch so far !
Wanna say thanks to all you folks who have emailed and said howdy over the last year - I got a good feelin' about 2009 - I wish all you cowpokes all the best and remeber , if your feelin' low just say what my Daddy always said . . . . ' A knee is like an elbow but further down' . . .always does it for me
speak soon
Clint X
November 2008
Was so good to be back in Brighton this month at the OHSO club - celebratin' a big birthday - thanks v much for askin' me to come and do the Clint Westwood show down there - we had alot o fun . I was joined by the fab Dyball and Kerr who were tryin' out some of their new material on an unsuspecting audience ( who were all dressed in gold by the way - Dolly would be proud of ya'll Brighton people ) - if you get the chance to check out D&K in their new show in the Brighton festival - just do it - looks so so good !!! Also had some turns from the Bite-Size theatre group which intersected the Country and Western antics beautifully , was real nice I tellya - real nice nite - I was ridin' Isme home that night - up over the Downs and I said to her - Isme - that was real nice ! And she neighed quietly to heself - that means she thought it was real nice too .
So now on to Christmas - people often ask me - hey Clint - you doin' lots of shows this Christmas ? And I say - no I'm not . and then they say - well hell - sorry I asked - aint no need to get all hoity toity about it all . And I say - well helll , I aint gettin' hoiyty toity I just aint doin that many shows . And they say - well you sound pretty damn hoity toity to me ! Well , maybe I do get a little hoity - but TOITY ? Never ! I am probably one of the least toity persons you'll EVER Meet - anyways I'm kinda busy with other things over Christmas - for a start I got one heck of alot of guitars to sell - which is pretty damn Country and Western in Itself and also I got some wood to chop and some fires to burn - aint no point in tellin Christmas tales without a good 'ol log fire burnin'
tune in next month folks and I'll fill ya'll in on a little fireside tale
KIC - Clint X
September 2008
Campin' in style u could call it - I just dun a show in a big tent ! A big red tent - made of velvet !
Honestly I have !
Man rang me up and said 'hey Clint - I'm havin' a party - I got a jazz quartet , a troupe of ballarinas , some opera singers and I thought some Country music might be good', the tent is goin' up as we speak'
Well I had a mighty fine time - I watched the ballarinas , watched the the opera and even played bongos with the jazzband . When It came to my bit I don;t think anyone knew what to expect but I got 'em all yeehawing and all .
Now it turns out that the party was a sort of book launch and the man throwing the party was a barrister and had written a book called ' the ins and outs of the legality of mechanical law type things and their actions thereof and stuff' ( something like that ) Well I reckon it's my kind of book and I'm on the waiting list for a copy - something to read by the campfire .
Now about this credit crunch - seems like all the merchant bankers are cryin' , the highstreet is cryin' , the estate agents are cryin' - it's pure country and western I tell ya. I don't see this as a bad time , I see it as a good time for writing songs - ya see- there's always a positive !
keep it country ya hear
Clint X
August 2008
Well, that was summer was it - mighty fine idea of summer you have here in England - I went campin' ! Bad Idea - figured it was gonna be a bit like bein back home on the trail - turns out like being in a windtunnel holding a big plastic sheet with someone throwin' buckets of water over ya . And the toilets - well I'd rather do it like a bear in the woods rather than them Portaloos - no wonder Abba wrote a song about them !
Air beds ! Who on earth invented them ? Bucky Calhoun ?
Anyways the plan for the DVD filming is slowly unfolding slowly - I'll keep ya'll informed - until then - no more campin'
keep it C
Clint
July 2008
Well that's a bit more like it - a big yeehaw to all of you folks who came along to Komedia for the Vive laFip show - what a great night - how good were your ??? !!! I loved Dyball and Kerr - they were crazy guys , not very country but crazy just the same - and the lady who played the accordion with her legs open - reminded me of Auntie M - except of course she didn;t play the accordion ! And thanks Dave M for inviting me along . Hey, it was real nice to see my friend Simon Shed doing his thang there too - he was excellent I thought .
So, what's been going on since then Clint ? I hear you ask ! Well . . . . I bin camping ! In a tent ! Now you might think I'd take naturally to that sort of thing , me bein out on the trail all my life and all. But I tell ya , when your out on the trail , you ride and ride , eat beans and sleep - With this camping business , your like putting up tents , washing up plates, finding yur ways to the protaloo , finding yur ways back again - sheesh - and those tent poles - it's like wrestling a goat to the floor !
Anyways, I'm home now and looking forwards to a decent night's sleep instead of all that messin' about - still talkin' about gettin' the show filmed next month - I'll keep ya'll posted
keep it country
Clint X
June 2008
I know , I know - I've been a bit lapse - aint dun the 'ol diary for a while .
Well I been kinda busy sellin' them there geetars and also been spending some time tryin' to forget my last show ! That wasn't too much fun - The guy on the sound desk had just two cues throughout the show and he managed to make a horse's ass of both of them - first time when I'm gonna sing my barndance song - he played the slow sentimental number . Then , in the second half , when I was doin' a bit where it's meant to be a surprise song . . . . he decided to start the music as I walked onto the stage . . . runing the whole goddam thang !!! I rode home real slow that night . Everyone said it was a good show nontheless . . . .but i think they was all drunk !
I am working on some new stuff , notably a disco song about a dinasour which i hope will be a big hit !
Anyways I PROMISE to log in before the Jult show and let ya'll know what's goin' down
stay cool and keep it country
Clint W
April 9th 2008
just had another big dump ( see yesterday)
April 6th 2008 - France
Bonjour Les Folk de Campagne et Wetsterne , Je suis en France - Yeeheur !
Yep , I'm up in the Alps learnin' how to ski . Now when some friends suggested we did this I said a big NO - I mean it just aint natural for a man to be slidin' around on two bit of wood - not natural at all I said ! But , well I don't know , I guess it was that English lager of yours - they persuaded me to swap my chaps for some fluorescent tight pants and my cowboy hat for what can only be described as RIDICULOUS headwear !
Anyways , it's going pretty well - the drag lift was easy - just like hangin' onto a lassoed steer - The chair lift was more difficult - I got some very odd looks - anyone would think they never seen a cowboy before , or a poncho for that matter - I'm still not totally sure it goes right with the yellow pants. I got down the green slopes ok and quickly moved through blue and red to where I really wanted to be - the black mogul runs - my sister Jolene told me these are bumpy and fast and if I just pointed my skis down the hill and closed my eyes it would be just like riding' a wild horse at the rodeo. Well it was true it wasn't long before I was on my back with my legs in the air . note : Whenever a Frenchman sees you like this he skis past and says 'Hoopla'
I knew this was going to happen , a few years ago my sister Jolene went on a ski trip and even though she had a ski instructor it wasn't long till she was in a similar position with him saying 'Hoopla' .
When it snows big time people round here say there's been a big dump ! Well We've had a few big dumps over the last couple of days plus the sun is shining like the Texas . . . . sun.
Hey, I got my geetar here and I've been singin' some country and Western songs in French - d.i.v.o.r.c.e. which is kinda handy that it’s the same in French as in English. Now , Islands in the Stream translates into Iles dans le jet ; sounds more like sick on the plane, which somebody was on the way here - that song will never be the same for me now .
So , A Bientot folks
Speak to you when I'm home
lots of love
Clint
March 10th 2008
Well Hotdamn - I've been banned from eBay !
Well I didn't realise I was doin anything wrong ! Jolene had put a few of her old things up for auction. She had cleared out the barn and found a few interesting things - some boots some fella had left there after he had to leave in a hurry, an old cider jar , a pair of dungerees, an old tape recorder, a hat, some socks and longjohns - gee he musta been runnin' down mainstreet in nothin' but his vest that night ! Anyways she listed them on eBay and asked ME to bid on them to get the ball a-rollin' . Well apparently thats against the rules - I got my account shut down for two whole weeks AND I had t go through some condesending chicken Sh*t test. It was like a virtual slap on the wrists ! Jolenes account has been closed too - hot potato !
So, I got some dungarees and some other bits and bobs for sale if any of you folks is interested - gonna have a proper auction in my front yard - a REAL auction , which a bos to stand on and everythin - I got hammer and all - Jolene is gettin all dolled up and will be doin soft drinks and all .
Lot 1 : 3 basketballs , a quantity of cigarettes , some mineral water and some matches from a hotel
Lot 2 : The dungarees
Lot 3 : A big kiss from em
(that's not true - that was Jolene messin' about - hijacked the computer there )
Lot 3 : A fishtank with sides but no top - useful when puttin' the fish in .
Lot 4 : 30 Gentlemen's combs - Pink
Lot 5 : a Plinth
Lot 6 : 5 boxes of rulers with no markings on - good for drawing straight lines - various colours
Lot 7 : A cassette recorder with tape of unknown band
Lot 8 : A pair of socks attatched to a pair of long john underpants , slightly used
Lot 9 : a similar lot
Lot 10 : oh - the bottle of cider or something - I'm sure I'll find a few interesting things to auction
Lot 11: a big sign saying eBay you can kiss my horses ass
I'll speak to ya'll agin soon i hopes
Stay cool
Clint XXX
February 12th 2008
Howdy ! The tour has finished - and what a tour it has been - I'm gonna miss bein' Ronnie Conway , but on the other hand I'm quite gettin' into bein' myself again.
I pulled on my boots this mornin' , popped on my hat and sat back lookin' at the sky and dreamin' of rustlers and roundups . It wasn't long before Jolene pointed out that I still had my MATALAN uniform on - she thought that was hotdamn hilarious !
Anyways, soon I'll be back in the saddle - I think a whole new show is in order - maybe with the odd favorite song still in there - but a new show - without the goat this time ! That goat was gettin' a bit big for it's hooves by the time we finished - in the end he had a bigger dressing room than me !! And more fanmail !
So I'll keep ya'll posted on how the new show's progressin - please send any ideas for a title - so far I've got, and I think this is a pretty good one . . . 'The Clint Westwood show' - I'm not sure if I can top that , but I'll have a go - any suggestions gratefullt rec'd
So, now I'm Clint again, I guess I can sign off by sayin'
keep it country - I love you all , I wish I knew you all - yeehaw
Clint W
Jan 29th
We Have started a weeks run at the Arts Theatre at Lei ces ter Square - which is very very cool because it's only 100 hoofs from the music store - so this week I can work sellin' guitars during the day and then get into Musician mode at night - tonight was the first night and was pretty damn fine - I particularly liked the LondonLite's description of the show The life story of the veteran comic set to the dulcet musical tones of Ronnie Conway !
Dulcet musical tones ! You hear that Bucky - Dulcet ! What is dulcet anyways - it IS good isn't it !? I'm gonna stick it on the homepage anyways
keep it country
Clint W
January 2008
Howdy - hope y'all had a country Christmas and a Western new year - I certainly did !
Well Here I am in Buxton with the Count Arthur Strong Show - playin' the hot darn keyboards ! Not really my thing but it pays the blacksmith's bills - poor old Isme is going through horseshoes with all this touring .
Just had a great show in a gorgeous theatre - can't wait to bring the new Clint Westwood show here - people of Buxton - YOU ROCK !
Had a letter form Jolene - don't things are going so well with Bucky Calhoun - only 13 children in the last five years - that's a record low for my town - always said than Bucky was no good !
They're gonna be filming the show in Brighton next week - should be fun - I sure hope so!
I'll keep ya'll informed - keep it country
Clint X
Sunday the Somethingth of December
Well Yeehaw there's alot going on -
Feels like I've taken on more than I can chew here - not only is the store goin Christmas Crazy but I've agreed to install two big PA systems , then theres my shows and Im on tour with Count Arthur again in the New Year - feels like Im back in the Rodeo .
This PA installation stuff is pretty crazy too- I'm up the top of scaffoldin' lying on my back with a solderin' iron in my hand - I don't know what's goin on - they said it would be like shoeing a horse - it AINT NOTHIN LIKE SHOEIN A HORSE ! Smells better for a start !But all them wires ! I'm waking up dreaming of wires !
Inbetween dreaming of wires , I've donea few shows - and they've been alot of fun - I'm really lookin' forward to the Kroon Kat ones next week - If I can stay awake long enough to do them .
Two nights ago I played down in Shoreham - worked all day then left in a rush - had to cycle to yr Victorian station in London - got a god damn puncture on the way - ended up running down the Mall ( quite different to the Malls at home ) with the bicycle ! JUST got the train - got back to meet Jolene who was ready with my hat, spurs and geetar - jumps i the car - . . . . BREAKS DOWN ! runs back to the house - gets another car - this one's ok - Shoreham is still an hour away - show starts in 50 mins !
Driving like the wind . . .we get there - they leave the audience in the bar whilst i do the Worlds fastest soundcheck - Done - back into the dressing room
guess what !?
Im on in the second half ! - In an hours time !
So I just kicked back for a while and worked on forgetting all my lines - which I managed quite successfully .
I guess the icing on the cake was walking onto the stage after I'd been introduced only to find no microphone .
IT WAS STILL A GREAT NIGHT !!!
I'm gonna get some shut eye now - Speak to ya'll before Christmas ya' hear
lots of Country Love
Clint
X
Friday 2nd November
Well Yeeeehaw , how you doin Diary ? mighty fine to seeya' . Now I just heard we aint doin no Shoreham show in December so This here next Saturday is your last chance to see the 'release the hounds' show this year - so get on ya cowboy boots and head on down to the Ropetackle if you fancy a little shindig .
Talkin' of shindigs , The guys at The Kroon Kat lounge which happens at The Komedia Theatre in Brighton have asked me to introduce a little C&W to their Christmas nights in December - I'll let you know when the exact dates are - but thats a great party night out - All the guys and gals get dressed up in fancy 50s gear and dance to crooners and stuff - I'm not quite sure how I'm meant to fit in - hope they like ' Dead Man On The Train' !
keep it country ya hear and I hope to see you before 2008
Clint X
Wednesday 17th October
Howdy Folks - Just so ya'll know - I'm doin' a spot at a show called 'Release the hounds' on Friday - I aint really sure what that's meant to mean - but hell we;re gonna have a foot-stompin' knee-slappin' butt-scratchin' nose-pickin' time down in sunny Shoreham !!!
There is a chance that I may be a little late , so don't be alarmed if someone turns up in my place for the first half - I've got an appointment with Dolly Parton - hopefully gonna get a duet together - yeehaw and , as Jolene said last night , see you down there !!
Clint
Wednesday 20th Sept
Shore Ham - I love you ! What a great place ! Well the first show at the ropetackle had it's teethin' problems - just like my little nephew Hoss , he has teethin' problems - up all nite hollerin' and a-howlin' - starts the coyotes off then the whole valley joins in before you know it !
Where was I ? Oh , the show ! Yep I think it can be counted as a great success - spode the test will be if anyone comes back next moth ! I hope ya'll do 'cos I had a ball and my friend Alan also made an appearence in the guise of 'Simon Shed ' - everyone seems to like him too - yeehaw !
Seems like the 'ol Count Arthur Tour is gathering momentum again - new shows booked for the new year - I'm actually lookin' kinda busy - which is a first !
So , Country and Western folk of the South West - get yr cowboy hats on and head down to the Roprtackle nest month - the 19th I reckon .
Sounds like my Poppa might do a turn and there's even talk of me bein' involved in a magic act - hope they don't saw my horse in half .
Actually , it might make it easier to get in the car
Yeehaw and K I C
Clint
Monday 27th August
Well I must confess , thats the longest I havent spoken to you for ever since the diary started
Thats real bad of me and Ipologise ! The summer has been a pretty mad affair - I bin writing a new show - which I rekon is gonna sweep the country - and if it dosen't I'll have to .
Alot of folk go away this time of year but I've been kinda short of dollars . I aint even bought new jeans for nearly a year - these are nearly through to the saddle - lucky I got some speacial leather underpants from a special cowboy shop doen in Brighton - they was real welcoming there - I'd only gone down to pick up some chaps !
I did manage to get to Wales again for a week - I'm becoming a regular Welshman in my old age . Bucky Calhoun has got a little ranch house out there in a place called New Quay - pronounce nukey ! Now this aint the Nukey where all the surfy dudes go to drink and throw up - this is the Welsh Nukey in Cardigan bay - really very nice I'd reccomend it - lovely beach - more tattoes than Edinburgh Castle ! Problem was - Bucky's place - He'd said it was kinda 'unfinished' and we'd have to sort of camp - I didn't realise that meant there wasn't going to be any walls ! Just a bath in a field ! Now I don't mind a song round a campfire - but this camping business is kinda strange in my opinion - and camping brings out a side in people that you don't normally see - they suddenly produce special camping tools - knives and forks that fit together in a special way - lights that fit on your head - wind up radios wind up torches - the whole thing wound me up terribly !
And you find yourself sharing baths with people you don't know - well maybe thats just a Welsh thing - i don't know .
Anyways , I'm home now and Jolene has promised to take me to a place called Crete for a few days to recover - I'll check in as soon as I get back - promise
kic
Clint
Sunday 15th July
Well . . . I could have sworn we were in France ! The compere was speaking French - there were Can- Can girls , there was Geroge Ouef ( that mean egg I found out ) . But we weren't in France - we was in Brighton again ! And what a really great night - I'll tell you they love their country and western down on the South coast .
Turns out it was a benefit night for a French radio Station called FIP - that's why I got so confused . I opened the show with a few numbers - then My friends Dyball and Kerr did their thing , Then George Ouef and Then the Can Can girls - it was all held together by Monsieur Dave Mountfield - turns out her's not French either !
Well , I gotta tell ya it was great to be up on stage again - it's been a while . I'm gonna go all out to get some more shows happenin' now for the Autumn so watch this space .
I love you all , I wish I knew you all
Clint
FridayJuly6th
Folks , I'm real sorry I aint been in touch , have been working my cowboy butt off - I'm right through another pair of twisted Levis !
Just got confirmation of a spot in a charity show in Brighton which I believe is in France - should be real cool . Come and hang out at Komedia on the 14th if your around . I'll buy ya'll a saparilli .
Guess I better go write something in Franch
Eau Resevoir
Clint
Wednesday 20th June
Excuse me - just how cool are these cushions ? Click to go to the Kitsch cushions site .
So - got some dates for the Autumn ! Just can't actually rmemeber when they are - but have got some for sure - so that's a good start .
Bucky Calhoun has been in touch - reckons he is moving into my old cabin with Jolene . They'll be there on the porch by the banks of the Big Muddy on those hot sultry summer nights listening to the goats carryin' on in the field . I mean the whole scene is lovely , apart from them there goats - thats part of the reason I left - carryin' on into the early hours - hootin' and a hollerin' - drinking beer and having other animals round - cows and allsorts - dancing , singin' shoutin' and all sorts - then hooverin' in the mornin' . The neighbours said they heard them doin' the same but , you know ,they never complained one bit - just carried on with their lives - mind you they were a bit simple .
Did I ever tell you I love country and western music ?but I'm finding in kinda difficult to get inspiration in Central London - you see in the shop we hardly hear any country - they play NU RAVE ! So I'm gonna try and write the frist ever nurave country and western song - something like 'You broke my dayglo heart with your glowstick love but now I'm totally chilled' - I'm off to write that now
see y'all
Clint X
Wednesday 13th June
Well things are kinda quiet here at ranch Westwood - the dust has settled after the tour and I'm gettin' down to earnin' some money the old fashioned way - workin'! I'm back sellin' them there guitars - things are kinda quiet though - so I get a bit of time to sit down and pick out some tunes on the store geetars - I've written several new songs including 'This one's in the Sale' , 'Yes we take Visa Electron' and 'Please don't play Smoke on the Water again' .
Couple of days ago I was lyin' in the bath scrubbin' my funny bone - just for a few laughs when the telephone rang - it was old friend Al - haven't seen him since we we're out on the trail of Sydney Applebaum , the fastest draw in Kent . Anyways , turns out he's puttin' a few shows together in a place called the Ropetackle in a place called Shoreham - well count me in I said , count me in . So I got a few dates in September , October and November - will post them real soon for ya'll .
I gotta go now - I'm making a hammock for my sister Jolene - I'll let you know how that goes
till next time
keep it country
Clint
Friday 8th June
The tour is over . . . . last two shows were in Bath this week at a theatre called the Rondo - real nice place and the people in Bath are so friendly . . . until you tell them that they're friendly , then they say . . .no we're not ! See I'm kinda gettin' used to bus drivers in London - lucky if you get a grunt from one . . . the first bus driver I got in Bath gave me a guided tour of the city . . . pointed out every building . . . gave me some history on the place . . was real friendly - nice bus too , open top - comfy seats - coloured flags flappin' away and a set of headphones for every seat - he would even talk to you in different languages - amazing ! Expensive though , ten pounds to go three stops !
The shows were a great success and a few people hung on and shared a sasparilli with us all afterwards which was very nice - thank ya'll for the beer . Now I told you people in Bath were friendly folk - One lady , who I'd known about five seconds , started telling me about her wife-swapping experiences - that was most unusual - apparently her husband looks like Clint Westwood ! I'll leave the rest to your imagination .
Anyways , the tour is over - looks like we're gonna make a dvd of it and we've got some more dates in the new year , but for now I can concentrate on being plain old Clint Westwood again , for a while at least .
Got some dates lined up for the autumn - And an idea for a whole new show - I'll keep you posted
Love Ya'll
Clint
Monday 4th June
What a vey eventful two weeks - my life has been like a rodeo ! Except without horses or cows or goats or nothin' . We ended up getting an award down in Brighton - an Argus Angel - that can't be bad !
then it was off to Winchester to Swindon to Colchester then Norwich , before heading down to Brighton again to do my own one man Clint Westwood show - SOLD OUT ! How cool is that ?? And what a fab audience - Brighton I love you all , I wish I knew you all I really do !
Then I took a few days off and kicked back in Wales - I hired an old windmill with all the mod cons - flat TVs - internet - running water and stuff - oh , and a hot tub in the garden - I'll tell you not - them things aint really built for horses - we had terrible trouble .
Then we played Bangor and then Chesham where we we're greeted after the show by some very very cool actin' types - now that was very nice - Alison Steadman ! Michael Elwyn ! and David Horovitch ! They all came to see the Count really but I got in on the act - had to make my presence felt - I am Ronnie Conway after all !!!!
Back in the store now - selling them g-tars . Two more dates this week in Bath , then the tour is over - but we've been booked for a week in the West End in the new year and we'll combine some more dates with that - so we'll be backin the saddle again soon . Meanwhile I'm sortin' out some more Clint gigs - I'll keep ya'll posted !
By the way , if you was in Brighton last week for my show - thanks for makin' it so very special .
keep it country
Clint
Monday 21st May
Well here I am again . right in the middle of the busiest week of the tour ! !
Every show is rolling into the nest - It's all becoming a bit of a blur . In these ten days I'm doing 9 shows but you know what I am so looking forward to the one in Brighton at the end of the week when I can saddle up Isme and play some country songs for you people - It's all very well pretending to be a piano player in front of full houses with Count Arthur but sometimes a cowboy has to let rip - just ask Isme my horse - she knows all about that !
So , seems we've been all over the place and I gotta say I met some mighty fine people . Last week we we're staying in a hotel in Chicester right next tothe cathedral - we got back kinda late and the rest of the crew were still up for some poker and drinkin' - I gotta say , I surpassed myself by usin' some of my old bank robbin' techniques - I broke into the bar with a hairpin ! BUT ! , don't get the wrong idea - we did leave a big pile of money for the whiskey and suchlike - I don't want Buck Calhoun and his posse breathin down my neck again - that boy has hallitosis !
So tonight it's off to Winchester - yeeehaw .
Hope I see all you country folk down in Brighton on the weekend - the place is the Cella at the Sanctuary ( Hove end of Western Road ) and the time is 7.30pm - see you there - keep it country
Clint
Thursday 10 May
Just rode back from London - bin doin' some more shows with Count Arthur - I'm kinda gettin' used to this piano playin' game now . We've bin to Leicester , Manchester , Penzance , Great Torrington , Aldershot , Windsor , Wolverhampton , Leeds and tonight London - and we're only half way through ! Geegosh Isme is gonna need re-shoing very soon if we don't watch it !
Now in Leeds we played a theatre called the City Variety. Now when I was a little Clint there used to be a TV show called 'The Good Old Days' - well it turns out it was filmed right there in that there theatre - and it still looks the same - just beautiful - If you ever go to Leeds , mae sure you check it out !
Well Jolene is a-callin' me - she's been getin' kinda demanding since I been out on the road - but I told her - a man can only wear one pair of trousers ! I'm not sure what it means but that's what I told her just the same !
keep it country ya'll - Clint X
Wednesday 25th April
Well Yeehaw - aint things gone crazy round here ! I been out doin some music all round the country with Count Arthur Strong - a real cool country kinda guy !
We bin to Manchester - very cool indeed - nice hotel - I stole the soap ! Then down to Penzance - they kept the bar open late . Great Torrington was . . . .great - had lunch in the Green Lantern - it cost £2.50 ! Here's a picture - I have marked the Green Lantern with a arrow .
hmmmm - it won't let me put a picture in - I'll try later .
Then I had a night in Worthing where I appeared not only as Clint Westwood but in the guise of Simon Shed - a man who makes things in his shed and then sings songs about them - he's not real of course ! And hey ! I had no idea there were so many beautiful ladies in Worthing - over seven !
So this week its off to Aldershot and then Windsor - My horse Isme is getting kinda tired but at least the goat is gettin some rest - he's not in the Count Arthur show .
If you're ever in the West End , I'm spendin' the rest of my time working in Macaris guitar shop in Charing Cross Road - you make sure you come and see me ya'hear - I love you all , I wish I knew you all !
PS Foot much better .
Saturday 16th March
The cast is off - I'm leaping round like a jack rabbit - even managed to squeeze the 'ol foot into my cowboy boots for a performance at the Pavillion Theatre dwn in good 'ol Worthin' - I love them folks - Country and Western through and through ! Tried out a few new things and got some big laughs . . .which was kinda strange 'cos they weren't meant to be funny !
Things are gettin' hectic again in the geetar shop - the guys there say it happens every year - as soon as the sun starts shinin' lots of crazy people start stoppin' by - not nasty mad people , but just people who seem to think you've known them all your life and pop in for a chat about their Auntie or somethin' - I had this guy talkin to me for an hour about different types of trousers !
I just wanna say a big yeehaw to the guy who has one of my songs on his phone - he letme hear me singin away after the show last night - made me feel well good (that's the right terminology aint it ? well good ! ) - country nd western to you sir !
I'l be fillin' ya in soon - I gotta go write a mothers day card right now
KIC - Clint
Sunday 4th March
Well I can't waiy till Wednesday - this cotton pickin' cast will be coming off my foot and a week or so after I'll be back on my horse . . . Six weeks is a long time to be out of the saddle . Had a couple of coool country shows meanwhile - even with the hop=a=long foot thing . Worthing was a right old hoot as usual - I'm really lovin' it down there - they're all country through and through .
And the comedy4kids show was great fun - I was kinda worried that a 5 year old wouldn't know who Johhny Cash was but i needn't have worried - the king of country spans all age groups ! Yeeehaw !
I been thinkin' about the future and I got this mad idea of tryin' to buy a place where people can come and eat and sing and play and have their horses re-shoed as they ride through town - maybe get a shoulder rub before they head back off on the trail - let me know if you see anywhere for sale that might be suitable . it'll have to be a place that can srve beans and stuff by day , but also sell the odd geetar , be a place for music and stuff in the evenings and have a big enough kitchen to keep my horse in .
Well it's kinda late and my fire's burnin' low so i should get some shuteye - back on the trail of Chuck Sadler tomorrow .
goodnight all
keep it country
Clint
Monday 29th January
As You English folk say . . . . .Wow ! What a month it has been . Started off recovering for Christmas and New Year then what happens ? I get a call from my doctor saying he's finally got time to do that operation on my toe - he's going to fit me in between a haemeroidectomy and a game of golf ! So I goes off to the hospital and sits there for three hours waiting before I realise Im in Ears Nose and Throat instead of Hand Knees and Bumpsadaisy or whatever it's meant to be . So after another hour waiting in the correct department I see the doctor for a total of 37 seconds and then Im sent home again - told to come back next week for the operation !
So a week goes by, and I'm all of a tremble , worrying about my big toe - we've been together as long as i can remember you know .
I turns up at the Hospital and it's like a hotel - nice room - matching crutches waiting for me - BUT ridiculous clothes !!! No sooner had I hung my hat on the back of the door when Im given a sort of nightie and a pair of paper underpants - now that just aint country and western as far as Im concerned !
Before I know it im on a trolley and Im trying to keep things jolly , by telling the guys a joke - but I can't tell if they like it cos they've all got masks on . THEN IM GONE - out for the count - THEN " SECONDS LATER - Im back - The operation is over and I'm still trying to finish the joke - everyone is looking at me as if Im crazy . . . . ' take it easy now Mr Westwood , you've already kicked all the dressing off once ! ' - I have ? Apparently - I was all bandaged up and I must have thought there was a rattlesnake or something round my foot - cos I managed to kick all the dressings plasters and bandages off whilst I was under the sleeping gas stuff ! Now I'm starting to realise that its really hurting and I conveyed this to the present company by yelling as If Id been shot by Bucky Calhoun .
Thats when they gave me the pills and Ive been fine ever since !
Still got a plaster cast on my foot and it aint coming off for another FIVE weeks !!! I aint allowed to ride a horse in that time either - it's drivin poor Isme crazy . Still when this comes off Im going to be a new man - you come along to a show and you'll see dance routines like you never seen before - unless the effects of the pills wear off .
Monday 8th January
Well Howdy all ,
long time no hollerin' . Well I do have my excuses - worki' in the store was real hard over Chritmas and new year - more dust kickin' up than when I folled that herd of buffolo all the way to Burgess Hill.
I got real stuck in sellin' them there geeetars - there's hardly any left in the store - think there's gonna be alot more country music being played this year - which has gotta be a good thing .
So there's the good news - I bin real busy but I kinda shot myself in the foot - quite literally - I go into Hospital on the 17th to have my toe sorted out - this means I'm gonna be limpin' about for at least six weeks - they says I aint gonna be able to put my right boot on for about six months - AND NO RIDIN'!
Well guess I'm gonna bee kooked up at home so at least I can keep you up to date with any new songs and stuff but I recon I'm gonna be a bit like a bear with a sore head if I can't get on my horse . Also I'm kinda worried about the operation - I remember Jack ' fastdraw' McNugget had the same operation - but when he was under general anesthetic they dropped a knife and cut the end of his goddam nose off !
What made it worse is then they got the two body parts mixed up and sewed his big toe onto his nose and put his nose where his toe shoulda bin . So not only did he look ridiculous but every time he sneezed he blew his boot off !
Well I'll try to log in before that all happens - I'm gonna try not to cancel any shows, but I'm not gonna post anything up here till I'm sure I can stand up and stomp my foot -
Peace and Country to you all
Clint
Thursday 15th December
Well its been real busy in the store - lots of people buying them there geetars , ukuleles , banjos and suchlike for that there Christmas thang - feels like I bin hauled along behind a mad mule for a week or two , I'm pretty exhausted ! Having said that , got a few new songs on the boil - 'Strappin' one on' - that's the name of the first one , it's a kind of Country blues number about . . . . .well maybe you'll hear it some time . Got another one called 'Love me Love me then lets go out to dinner and have a chat then maybe go bowling ' . . . that one's not going so well , but figured the chorus could be a bit like Rawhide - bowlin' bowlin' bowlin' etc.
Yet another classic Clint slip up in the shop - Ya'll know I don't recognise anyone - I called Noel Gallagher Liam ! Well last week I sold a eetar to Sandie Thom - great singer who apparently is a real myspace success story , being me I asked her if she had a myspace site and told her she should set one up - 'it's really good' ! Couple of the guys had a laugh at me when she'd gone , but I got the last laugh - I shot them !
Well guess I better get out there and do some Christmas shopping - gonna send Jolene a picture of me and Bucky when we was friends - gonna send Bucky a picture of me and Jolene when was still livin' back home and just to complete the picture guess I better send myself a picture of Jolene . . . . .and . . .Bucky .
Well , Merry Christmas everybody , with that picture in my head I'm gonna mosey on back to the ranch and have myself a sasparilla .
All you folk who have come to see a show this year or sent messages or posted stuff on Chortle or Edfringe or myspace - thank you so much , I love you all , I wish I knew you all , I really do .
Have a kickin' country Christmas and I'll see ya'll in 2007 .
Yeehaw
Clint Westwood 2006
Monday 27th November
Well I've had a few exciting days !
Played a game called GOLF ! Was invited along to a place called Moor Park - a real old golfing club with big paintings on the ceilings - you see a friend of mine is gettin' hitched so he arranged for a few of us to play some golf - real good bunch of guys including a guy called Scott - turns out he's a guitar player too , used to be in a band called Thin Lizzy - he had real long hair back then - Well Scott lended me some of his golf clubs , I unfortunately snapped one in half on the first hole - well I aint never done it before - he was real cool about it though - took the broken club back home with him - pity I was gonna put it on EBay !
Next night went to a reunion of classmates - a load of guys and gals that I used to go to school with were havin a get together in Brighton - now some of these folk I aint seen in 25 years - so it was quite surprising to see some of them looking younger than when they were at school - most peculiar ! Was some real big laughs there - saw Leonardo , the drummer from my first band - he's sold his kit now - pity - we wrote a great song together once - about a toad ! was a real good night - I'm gonna get hold of them folks' email addresses and have a bit of a barn dance one night !
So , no shows til February ! Gotta concentrate on selling some of them there guitars - I'll keep ya'll informed though
keep it country
Clint X
Sunday 19th November
So Papa Westwood decided to pop in and do a spot at my Worthing show ! Well . . . .it wasn't really him , it was me dressed up - sang Blue Anorak and Hillbilly Hop then did a number as me ! I also ended up in a couple of extra sketches and I gotta say I had a ball - beats sleepin' in a leaky cowshed anyday . I gotta say a huge yeehaw to any of you country folk who turned up in Worthing last Friday - I really wish that wasn't the last show for a while - I'm really lookin' forward to comin' back - See Ya'll in February - keep it country !
Had a bit of a strange experience on the train yesterday - I was sittin' down mindin' my own business when this annoying music starts - so I start strain' at the guy opposite me who was holdin' his phone and lookin' at it intently . . . . . nothing . . . . . he just glanced up at me as if I was mad . . . . so I thought . . . . well this annoying music is a bit of affront to me , and it's invading my personal space ! so I thought about sayin' something to him THEN I decided that whistling was a better option . . . i started to whistle an annoying tune . . . . . .no reaction . . . just looked at me again as if I was mad . . . . SO I start to whistle loudly on my fingers - same tune whilst staring at his phone . . . . at which point he looks at me in a kind of scared way and puts his phone in his inside pocket . . . . . . . I stopped whistling and sat back . . . only to realise the music was still playing . . . . well I looked at the people around me as if to say ' well hot diggity dawg' and realised they were all lookin' at me - the whistling man . . . . then I looked back at the guy with the phone . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . It was only at this point I realised that it was not HIS phone playing the music . . . . .it was someone behind him . . . a guy who was lying down with an empty bottle of wine propped up against him . . . an a mobile phone clutched to his chest . . . . Well , I was quite embarressed to say the least . . . . I turned bright red and started getting kinda hot under the collar . . . . then I started to see the funny side of it and started to laugh , inside at first , then in kinda sporadic giggles , and when somebody stopped in the gangway and asked if they was in the right section of the train for Brighton I could only reply by breaking into hysterical laughter - phew , thank goodness by that time we was nearing Haywards Heath and I could grab my horse and get on back to the ranch .. . . gee whizz .
Well folks I've gotta get stuck in to selling some o them geetars from now up till Christmas so I aint got no shows planned till next year - but if any guest spots and such like crop up I'll let you know - till then - be careful with them spurs and keep it country
Clint
Thursday 16th November
Well First I must apologise for not checkin' in for a couple o weeks - Sorry ! Things have been hottin' u at the store - guess Christmas is on it's way - hope I get something decent this year - last year Pappa got me a wind-up radio - at least he said he was goin to !
So , I bin workin' hard - Billy the goat and Isme , my horse are both well , if a little starstruck - they now insist on their own bathroom - which has ost alit of money - a lot of money ! Got a show on Friday which should be fun - am doin a bit of actin' as well as my regular stuff - I'm gonna have to be a Roamn soldier - Ave , ye gods and hail an all . Then I gotta be a mexican bandit , which to be quite honest is real easy for me , as there were plently of them back home and I was always doin impressions anyways - nearly got shot a couple o times doin my impression of Pedros Miguel Barbaria - he ran a garage .
Went to see Dolly parton at Wembley but couldnt get in - I kinda figured that I would just knock on the stage door and she'd remember me from the Country Roundup Award Presentations - but no - was very humiliating .
note : The car has blown up - head gasket - must ring Pedros - hey Gringo , yah ha ha , I twirla my dirty moustache at you Gringo yah haha , and I . . . . . .
Sunday 27th October
Well It's real peaceful here on the ranch - just been sitting round the fire stoking my sausage and warming my beans . Last Nights show was a real surprise - I really wasn't expecting anyone to turn up , but a load of real nice folks turned up and we had a ball - thank you all for comin' along - and thanks to Nikki for standing in for Geoff .
Looks like I'm doing the show in Worthing again on the 17th - that's gonna be alot of fun - especially as I have been asked to appear in some of the other sketches - gonna be an actor for a bit - I have already been trying some breathing excercises and going mimi mama momo - but i still can't actually act yet - still got another fortnight so should be ok .
The goat made an appearence last night - looks like her could be getting over his stage fright .
keep it country ya'll
speak soon
Clint
Sunday 22nd October
sEEM TO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE cAPSlOCK ON MY COMPUTER - WHATEVER i DO iT SEEMS TO COMEOUT -THE W- oh that's better - sorry about that - god damn Caps Lock button - wasn't it - should have thought of that before !
Well been workin' real hard sellin' them there Guitars but kinda feels like I've had a week off - met the guys from a band called the Rapture - wow they're so damn cool and Sun as well - any more laid back and they'd fall over . So yeah , feel like I've had a week off 'cos I aint been singin' and playin' to any audience for a week and a bit - so really lookin' forward to next Saturday and doin the Marlborough theatre agin - think it's gonna be the last time I'm gonna be doin' the Edinburgh show so It may be a little sad - the goat was gettin' all choked up this morning when I told him .
Got a postcard from my Daddy back home - they must have let him out ! he's threatening to come over and join in on the show - thats kinda perturbin' cos he's got some strange ideas - mind you he's a pretty good banjo player and he's a whizz with a hedge cutter .
I bought some real strong whisky during the week - yeehaw - what is that all about ? I'm kinda used to smooth sippin' Tennessee Bourbon - this was a single cask single malt - single sip and it'll blow your hat off Scotch Whisky ! 58 point eight percent proof - the guy in the shop gave me half a thimble full and wooooooooooooohoooo - warmed my cockles it really did . As i was paying I started giggling in a strange way - my horse was looking at me funny too whe I came out of there - think she knew .
Talkin' of Isme ( my horse ) I better go water and rub her down now - I'll keep y'all informed on any developments -
remember if you squat out in a field - make sure you take them spurs off - keep it country - Clint W
Saturday 14th October
I am tired ! Last nights show was real good - the people of Worthing are country folk - that's official - they were some of the loudest Yeehaws I ever heard - had a few technical problems - couldn't get the horse onstage , chicken got loose - but apart from that - the show went very well . Next month one of my relatives is threatening to come over and appear in my place - this is quite worrying - I have also been asked to appear in some sort of magic act where my head levitates on it's own - kinda lookin forward to seeing that !
Gonna get geared up for the Marlborough show next - that's gotta be a reall hoot - cosy little theatre , lots of crazy Brighton folk ! see you there
KIC - Clint X
Friday 13th October
Howdy and a huge Yeehaw to all you folk who tured up at Komedia last nite - It was so friendly - like being in someone's front room with a load of friends - mind you , it would have to be a pretty wierd person who would have a front room with a stage in it and lights and stuff - and a big bar like that ? Well , that's just showin' off - what d'ya think you're doin' building a big bar in your front room - and I mean how many tables should you really have in there - I think it's just plain over the top - that's the last time I'm comin' round your place !!!
Anyways , It was a real nice evening and has made me really look forward to playing down in Worthing tonite - even if it is Friday the Thirteenth - the Horse is a-tremblin' in trepidation .
Had a very bad experience in the middle of the night - I had to get up to get a glass of water - and as I walked thorugh my downstairs hall I trod on a big fat slug - not nice at all . So. . . I grabbed a tissue and scooped up what was left of the poor fella and decided to deposit him outside - Now the problem was , I was was buck naked , but I figured , what the hell ,- it's four in the morning - there aint gonna be anybody about - and anyways - it's dark ! So , I stepped out my front door , in the buff , holding my soggy slug filled tissue - forgetting that , once I was halfway down the driveway , the security lights come on ! I don't know what those people drivin' by thought but I guess it brightened up their late nite drivin' experience .
Well - better get writin' and see what I'm gonna do tonite - I'll write you tomorrow and let you know how it went.
all the country best
Clint
Friday 8th October
Well yeehaw ! Gettin' revved up for my forthcoming shows now - how am I gettin' revved up - well firstly by climbing onto the roof of my house and trying to fix a leak - this is NOT a good idea - this is a BAD idea - if anyone is thinking of doing it - DONT ! One hire of a n extra long ladder , two cans of sealant , six replacement roof tiles and a big scary mad experience later and I have to call some roofers to come and fix up what I've done - I'm gonna stick to bull riding .
Was sitting down in the shop having a little strum when nobody was watching when I looked up to see the most ROCK people I've ever seen - turns out they were RAMONES - yeehaw - am I rubbing shoulders with the rich and famous or what ????
Diary - I gotta go - the goat is a-callin' I'll be back soon
Clint
Monday 2nd October
From a newspaper thang :
Now what is all this imaginary business about ? This was a real nice review though - of the Friday Night live show - soon I'll get the whole thang up here but right now I have no idea how to do that !
Spam spam spam spam
Well Hot Dang , I just sold a ukelele to Eric Idle out of them there Monty Pythons - how about that - gonna tell my goat tonite - he's gonna be well impressed !
Sunday 1st October
Well fan my flies away ! I can hardly believe it's a whole week since I repoted in - I'm so pushed I hardly have time to write my diary - this is something that has to be addressed ( makes a note ) .
Well things have been happening big time around the ranch - I have tidied up lots and have watched some TV - all real exciting stuff . Have finished my bottle of Aberfeldy whisky ( I recomend this particular beverage ) and have had a curry - first time for everything - my horse is complainin - she says its worse than the beans - I gotta agree .
Of all the people to pop in the store and have their geetar fixed up - Phil Nichol - the guy who did the naked show in Edinburgh and went on to win the big fizzy water award - yeah - he swings by - got a problem with his endpin ! hardly surprising he's done it mischief with all that leapin about he does on stage ! Anyways I fixed his endpin up and replaced his G String - that was well overdue - and he's given me tickets for his show at the Garrick Theeatre in Charing Cross Rd which is only a few hundred yard from the store - very very cool indeed !
Am writing a new song about a gun battle between David Gray and James Blunt - I will post it up on the myspace site when Ive dun a demo of it - not finished yet - not even sure who wins !
The big Komedia venue in Brighton has been re-furbished and I've been invited along to celebrate the reopening on Monday week - should be some other celebs there too - I'm hoping to meet Prince Harold and Sir Heathcliffe Richards what Kate Bush sung about like a mad witch - don;t know what that was but it sure aint country .
I promise to write again soon and keep you up to date on the coming and goings of this cowboy - stay cool yawl
Clint X
Sunday 24th September
Howdy Folks ,
well I'm about to turn in after a long gruelling week , my legs are tired and I'm a little saddle sore from all that commuting .
Sold one heck of alot of guitars , guess there's gonna be a whole load more cowpokes out there soon .
Hey - the date of the show at the Marlborough has changed - looks like its Saturday night now - yeeehaw ! going up in the World !
Really am sleepy - I'm gonna dream a new song
keep it country zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Friday the something or other of Sept
Kinda gettin' mixed up with these date things ! Got a postcard from my sister Jolene , She recons she's got hold of my first guitar and gone travellin' got a postcard from Mexico with a picture of her by some big 'ol rodeo - she looks mighty fine ! If any of the folks back home are lookin' in - Im doin mighty fine too - got to meet the guys from a band called U2 in the shop the other day - they bought a real cool amplifier - a couple of the band dress like cowboys alot - not sure about the names though - The Edge ! Bonio ! we don't have them names back home.
Everyone in this country seems to be obsessed with famous chefs - very odd - when you turn on the TV set ther's always someone cooking something or other - If this new show don't work out I might apply for a TV series cooking beans - Clint cooks Beans - thats got a nice ring to it .
Looking forward to the next show - written a few new songs and will certainly try out one or two .
Im lovin' this thing called myspace - meetin' new friends and listening to some cool music - check it out !
I'm gonna go stoke a fire now - but I'll be back soon
keep it country
Clint
Saturday 16th September
Yeeeeehaw ! It's good to be back online !
So what's been happenin' Been kickin' back in the 'ol guitar store meetin' lots of famous people and takin' money off of them - great fun .But I'll tell ya - there are some strange folk who hang out in the West End of London - at the store they have a list of strange people who come in regularly - there are 300 people on it ! with names like 'Fingers in Ears Man' and 'The Mad Fireman' not to mention ' Random Question Insane Laughing Man' .
Noe y'all know I lve country music but noe and again something else tinkles my spurs ; In the 80s I was veru much into the progressive rock band Tony Waterproof Mammal but right noe I'm getting into a band called Aberfeldy - I'll tel ya' if your Dolly's worn out , your Tammy's scratched or your Willie's jumpin' have a listen to these guys .
Last night I did a show in Worthing - first gig since Edinburgh - was great ! not just to be on stage again but to be on a HUGE stage . Looks like it could be a regular thing so maybe see you there next moth on Friday the 13th !!!!! at the Ravillion Theatre which is on the Pier - the Pier of the Year apparently ! By the way a big Howdy to the plumbers who asked about my song 'The Plumber's Divorce' - here's the link just in case you didn't find it .
www.myspace.com/thecompleteclint
Two more shows in October as well - Komedia and Marlborough in Brighton
Ill keep you informed - Clint W
Monday 4th September
Howdy everybody - apologies for the lapse in diary writing - have got some of them there computer problems ! Things have settled down since I got back from Scotland and I'm working in the Music Shop agin ! Have lots to fill you in on , and will once that clockwork puter of mine is fired up agin - intil then - I have a show in a place called Worthing - way down South on the 15th - would love to see ya'll there . All the best - Clint
Monday 28th August
Well my bags are packed , I'm ready to go , I'm standing here outside the door BUT I haven't disconnected my laptop and done my online diary so I can't go !
Well the Edinburgh Fringe Festival is over - amazing ! As much as I want to head home , it makes me kinda sad . Have booked a ticket on the choo choo tomorrow ( first class - first time for everything ) not because I'm classy - all the regular seat were sold out !
Hey - did my last show - was alot of fun - v warm audience - couldn't get the goat off the stage ! Geoff gave me a card with a picture of the Village People on it - v nice ! Couldn't get the goat off the stage - dosen't want to go home .
The last CAS show was a breeze apart from Malcolm totally covering me with smoke from the smoke machine - couldn't stop laughing - v unprofessional !
Dinner with the cast and Gamargobat and the Jessie and Karl who did the flyering and Tamsin who looked after us all and Rich who hasgone home with my phone ! Then Geoff turned up after watching a football match - they've all gone out noe , but you know folks , I think after my two shows a day for a month , I'm just plain shot and need my bed . Tomorrow I will tell you what I've learned , if anything .
If you came to watch the show in this here Edinburgh run - bless you , It's been a hoot .
Sunday 27th August
Well Phil Nichol whose parts were dangling in front of me at his show has won the eddie thing award - good on ya Phil . Has given me a new idea for the show today . . . . . . . .
It's windy here in Edinburgh , think it may have been the beans .
Hard to believe after two more shows I'll be going home to hang up my cowboy hat for a while - luckily I'm gonna be working in a guitar shop selling them there acoustic boxes - should be fun .
How many roads must a man walk down befoore they call him a man ?
SEVEN
If a picture paints a thousand words then why can't I paint you ?
NO FORMAL ARTISTIC TRAINING
please email me any ideas like this - I might put them in a song .
Off to flyer CW
22.58pm : Well what an unusual day , flyered all morning , having really great long chats with people - v nice too . Then came to do the show and found the audience v odd indeed - one guy sat right in font of me with his arms folded and never applauded one song , never broke into a smile . This was quite funny to begin with but after about the third song it became quite disconcerting . By the time I'd done my Brokeback Mountain bit I couldn't wait to get off the stage . . . . so finished - phew !!!!
Then I get out and loads of people are waiting to tell me how much they enjoyed the show - so so odd ! I went from being really down to being really up and raring to go . Well , as they say in Texas , all's well that ends down a well !
Count Arthur show was a humdinger - smaller but v noisy and appreciateive audience
Had a pint of that there Guiness then headed to the Speilgletent to see Michaelangelo and the Black Sea Thingers - strange European music from some Antipodeans - great fun .
Home now and kickin' back . Last show tomorrow - wow !
Saturday 26th August
Yeehaw - that miracle cure did the trick - still a bot croaky but ready to get up and at 'em
Show was a stormer - really great audience hootin' and a hollerin' , had another super fruit drink thing before just for good measure . Now there's a bit in the show where I ask the audience if anyone is having an affair and I'm getting a bit concerned now 'cos we've only got two shows to go and nobody has yet said yes ! One lady said she wished she was but that's the closest we've got .
After the show drank a big big mug of tea - good for the throat then did the CAS show which was surprisingly quiet for a sold out gig .
Instead of going home like I should I decided to go and drink a bit more of that Malt Whisky stuff - ended up in the Assembly rooms artists bar and started a beermat flipping contest - Now it seems I have been beaten . . . by Geoff ! I did 36 beermats and he did 41 - may heve even been more by the time I left - I obviously need to practice more - hot dang !
Its midnite now - can hear the Edinburgh fireworks going off - so home at a reasonable hour - gonna have a hot drink and get settled down by the campfire for the night ready fro the last big show tomorrow then probably a pretty laid back one for Monday - tehn guess it's time to hit the trail agin . . .this here Edinburgh festival will be over .
goodnight all - CW
Friday 25th August
wOOOOAH ! Woke up with a horrible sore throat - there were no ticket sales so I was tempted to cancel the show BUT instead ended up at the gilded ballooon drinking the miracle cure - a blend of fruits and ginger and garlic and wheatgrass - wow ! Decided to do the show so had to go on a speed ticket selling mission . Well it was the quietest show so far - what with me croaking away and the audience seeming to think it was a play - anyways had fun and got big big cheers at the end .
Went home and collapsed for an hour before doing the Count Arthur show which was . . . . . .also quiet . I think this must be the official festival quiet day !
Gonna get an early night and rest my sore throat .
Juliet someone who wrote Nighty night was in today !
Thursday 24th August
What ??? Woke up and hadn't sold any tickets to the show ! First day that's happened . Found out later that this happens on the last Thursday and Friday of the festival then the weekend goes nuts ( apparently ) . So released some half price tickets and drummd up an audience - not a huge one but yet again a really warm and appreciative one - we had alot of fun !
If you walk around Edinburgh at the moment , you can spot the performers - they can't speak any more ! Loads of people seem to be getting ill and spluttering and coughing - I'm doing ok , although I couldn't hit the high notes today - I just substituted some lower ones and nobody seemed to mind .
CAS crowd was a bit quiet but was a good show nonetheless - apparently , someone from Coronation St was in the audience .
Gonna have a bit of a feast at home tonight , have already had stuffed peppers - after I've completed the diary , am moving on to the roasted vegetables and rounding off with a few beans .
Did I ever tell you I love country and western music ?
Wednesday 23rd August
Trying to write a country song . . . in French . . . something like Je suis un garcon de vache , je wear un grand chapeau etc etc .
Had a lay in then headed out to sell people the show , but not before watching a dog agility test , obviously ! Don't think Limpin' Dog would have done too well .
Show was a laugh a minute , sometimes more , at some points , a laugh a second ! Lots of kids in the audience , I've realised there are quite a few bits in the show that could be construed as rude - I left these bits out today and the show was half it's normal length .
Count Arthur show was good as usual but didnt notice any famous people which was dissappointing .
Then to Vittoria - an Italian restaurant for spaghetti vongole - that's like spaghetti with garlic and clams in it - still buzzing from it - if you come to the show tomorrow I reccomend you don't sit in the front row .
stay cool everyone - goodnight -
Clint 'garlic' Westwood
Tuesday 22nd August
Sore throat ! Used an old Indian remedy to get back on old trackers cure to get back on my feet - mixed liquorice with some dead leaves and then rubbed it all over my body and ran around shouting . It didn't help , think i need to go back do some more tracking , think I may have made a mistake there !
Count Arthur Strong was making a TV pilot so went to lend my support then headed out to give people flyers for the show - If you're the couple from West Virginia in the front row today , thank you so much for staying ! I had a lot of fun today despite the sore throat .
Elephants and Bagels !
Count Arthur show was a hoot !
Famous people spotted wearing Clint Westwood stickers : Steve Coogan , Bill Bailey , Barry Cryer , The Goodies . . . . . . .
Monday 21st August
Day off ! gonna see some shows - will report back .
Decided to start the day by walking up Arthurs seat - this involved walking up a big hill for ages only to find . . . . the top ! And NO SEAT . . . . .had to sit on a rock . . . there were also loads of Japanese people with cameras . . . .don't know what Arthur would think of all this !
Then wen't to see James Campbell's Ominatapea society - I don't know what on Earth it was all about - JC is a genius at writing children's comedy , so I guess a lot of it just went over my head !
Spent the afternoon milling about and tipping my hat to people and saying howdy before going to see 'Tossers' .This is a sort of juggling show except it's much more than that - they throw bits of bicycles at each other and between them juggle about a thousand pieces of fruit - I mean I can juggle a bit - at least I thought I could .
Got a sore arm and a sore knee and a sore throat - hmmmm - I think an early night with a bottle of whiskey is what I need - see you tomorrow - CW
Sunday 20th August
Hello ! not sure what came over me today but decided to stick some new songs in the middle of the show - I mean I didn't plan it - just launched into them - no one seemed to mind , but when I'd finished I didn't really know where I was in the set, so I'm making a note here to remind myself not to do it again - having said that , I probably will ! Very nice to see people adding comments to the Scotsman review - thanks a bunch - very nice indeed .
Had a chat with Barry Cryer and then Bill Bailey - nice to see some big names wearing their Clint badges around Edinburgh . In fact had some wonderful long rambling conversations in the Gilded Balloon courtyard - lots of people beering it up and kicking back - v nice !
Ate between shows at the Elephant House where JK Rowling thought up Harry Potter - don't know how - it was so hot in there couldn't think of anything , never mind the World's most successful childrens story !
More famous people at the CAS show - can't remember who they were - will find out .
Monster Mex for supper - Very cool restaurant where they play cowboy and line dancing music and serve veggie chilli as well as other mexican foods - go there !
V tired again - gonna write a new song then turn in .
till tomorra - Clint
Saturday 19th August
This is it ! I can feel in in my horsetrough - The sun is out , the reviewers are gonna rave about the show and the last week of the festival is going to be a humdinger ! Have emailed the editor of the Scotsman to see if he can show more than just the terrible bit of the review on their website - If he dosen't I will feel totaly justfied in taking the words COMIC GENIUS and using them as a quote , even if they were preceeded by the words "Clint Westwood isn't a ". Right - off to tell the World - CW
8.45pm : Well how right can a cowpoke be ? I just want to say a huge Yeehaw to anyone who came to the show today - It really felt very special - thanks a bunch !
Think I did a bit too much stamping today - my feet are tired to the bone - gonna relax with a sasperilla and kick back tonite - till the morra - Clint
Friday 18th August
Found it very hard to sleep - I'm not sure if it was the thought of two stars in the Scotsman or the mental picture of Phil Nichol naked that kept me awake , but couldn't sleep nonetheless .
I don't mind about the two stars - they actually said they liked the show and would have liked it even more if they were drunk - which i think is nice ! The only negative thing they said was that I wasn't a genius ! Well , that's ok with me - I never did want to be one - the burden of being a genius is a big one - granting wishes and squeezing into a bottle every night must get you down after a while . Anyways even with their two stars I'm still averaging about 4 - so how good is that !!?? Mighty good if you ask me !
9pm : Hah ! Had a great show - who needs the Scotsman ! It's just like when Dolly Parton refused to do that duet with me - Hahahahaha - oh dear I'm going insane .
Right now that list of people who have been to the CAS show - Ross Noble , Paul Merton , Edward Woodwood , Adam Hills , Daniel Kitson , Daniel O'Donnell , Some DJ guy , Rodney Bewes and some other ones .
Met Barry Crier yesterday - what a very nice man ! Said he'd come to my show - yeehaw !
Looking forward to tomorrow - hard to believe there are less than 10 shows left - the honks have arrived .
Thursday 17th August
Bucky Calhoun called up and laughed at me because the audience wasn't so big for the show today - does not matter I said - I enjoyed it ! Was like being round a campfire with some friends - one guy even brought a sausage - think that's what he was holdin' anyway .
It was Russ Noble at the show yesterday - just remembered - will still get you that list though .
Apparently torrential rain is on the way - wil report back - CW
Going to see Phil Nichol tonight - hope he's good
10pm : okok Phil Nichols show was quite an eye-opener especially as I was in the front row - If you fancy a boundary-breaking hour go and see Phil - I wont tell you too much but - oh just go and find out for yourself !
Got home to find the Scotsman don't care too much for me - that's the paper , not the person - this is ok with me , just really pleased that someone has said something ! AND have managed to extract the words 'comic genius' from the review , even if the words Clint Westwood is not a preceed it - I think this is regular practice .Could have been worse - it might have rained .
11.49 : raining !
Of course , I do have the luxury of my own website so I can review the reviewers : see tomorrow when I've slept on it : CW
Wednesday 16th August
Have woken up to a five star online review at www.fringereview.co.uk - It bodes well - AND the sun is out ! What more could a guy want - oh yea - more beans - off to the general store now . More reviewers at the show today and expecting some reviews to actually appear in print soon - it's getting a bit frustrating - but riding high in the saddle and keeping my head low - Ok , that dosent make any sense but it sounded quite good . Bagels at Elephant and Bagels - v nice Paul Merton and some hairy comic came to the Count Arthur show ( I'll remember his name soon Im sure - I think he's Welsh) They were v complimentary - there's all sorts of famous people come to that show - I never know who anyone is - not a very good celeb spotter I'm afraid . I'll ask tomorrow and do a list for you . Saw Reginald D Hunter do his stand up thing - some v funny moments - but no cowboy stuff really. Thanks to everyone who came to the show today - we had alot of laughs didn't we - you're all country through and through and I love you all Clint
Tuesday 15th August
Went out ! Had a big breakfast and subsequently felt abit fat and bloated when i got on stage - the show was ok apart from Bucky Calhoun ringing me in the middle of the set ! I MUST remember myself to turn that phone off .
Have been feeling a bit under the weather so have decided to get an early night and only drink the ONE bottle of wine this evening - gonna do a great show tomorrow - have decided !
Got the myspace thing working properly ! Have a listen to some songs - theres a link in 'about Clint'
Oh no ! have just found out the Scotsman - the biggest paper in town were at the show today - what a shame - the first time I've felt a bit under par - oooh well - we shall see what happens .
Monday 14th August
2.45 : haven't left the house yet ! Had a long 'ol lay in bed and since then been working on some songs - gonna be a good show tomorrow after this restful day off as long as nothing crazy happens tonight !
9.30 : well it hasn't been restful so far - I decided to set up this thing called www.myspace.com/thecompleteclint - well I'm not the most hi-tech person in the World - I mean I can light a fire with just two sticks ( and a lighter ) - but all this upload/download stuff is hell for me - but there are some songs on there if you wanna have a listen - gonna go do something low-tech now like have a beer !
Sunday 13th August
Today was Fringe Sunday so did my hair in a special way - didn't suit me .
Quiet show today but stll very special and still great fun , I just pretended we was all sitting round a campfire swapping stories .
Tried to walk down the royal mile but got stuck
Had dinner at the Traverse theatre and then on to the Speilgletent to see some Andrew Sisters type jazz stuff - not country but still damn good .
Dead on my feet tonight - well no shows tomorrow so should be fun - till then - Clint
Saturday 12th August
Just want to say a big thank you to all you people who have left reviews of the show on edfringe and chortle - really really makes it worth doing the thing . Being in a little venue , it's kinda hard to get the mainstrem reviewers in - but what do I care ? I'm havin' a ball !
Being taken for breakfast somewhere real classy this morning - I hope they do beans - will report back
Midnite : not a sound from the pavement - has the moon lost its memory ? etc etc. Breakfast was great by the way - had Salmon - was like being back in the Colorado mountains - wonderful !
The Clint show rocked ! If you folks were there - thanks a bunch , still having a few problems with the goat - he has started taking a bow at the end even though he hasn't really done too much .
Then decided to walk to the assembly rooms to do the Count Arthur gig - got stuck in a people jam - ridiculous - took hours to get down the road ! The show went just fine . Ate at a place called Monster Mash where they serve Sausage , Mash and beans - very good !
Finished off the evening with a dose of Bent Double hosted by the wonderful Zoe Lyons . Home now , gonna kick out the glowing embers of the campfire and get some shut eye ,
till tomorra
Clint
Friday 11th August
It's been over a year since I left Texas - just before I left I had some double glazed windows put in . So what happens ? This morning I get a call from the company saying they've been chasing me all over and why haven't I paid them yet . Well I wasn't going to be caught out there - I reminded them that the salesman had said that within a year those windows would pay for themselves , then I put the phone down !
Bought a poncho from the PDSA - which is a rather good shop dedicated to looking after animals when they are poorly . Don't think too much of their ponchos mind you - thin blue plastic and flappin' about all over the place - mind you - what do you want for a pound ?!
Have just got 8th highest score in the gold mining game in the about Clint section - best yet - email me if you beat me !
Both shows went super today - really getting into my strides now .
Spent the evening trying to watch the Pink Panther at an open air cinema but boy was it cold !!!! Retreated to a bar for a bourbon , but all they had was something called malt whiskey - yeeehaw - now that's the way to warm up - have decided to try them all - there can't be more than about ten .
see y'all tomorrow sometime
Thursday 10th August
5.10pm Thought the show went well today - very relaxed and lots of applause - very nice after I'd spent most of the morning tidying up the ranch and then getting supplies - huge security lady got kind of annoyed with me for bringing my horse into the shopping mall - this city is getting like a police state ! Next time I'll walk there - that'll show 'em.
THEN - rode over to the Count Arthur Strong show and got caught it a sudden shower of rain - was so pleased I'd worn my white shirt with the ruffles ( am kinda gettin' into this theatre business - you see ) It immediately became see-thru and unruffled and I arrived lokin' like a soggy beaver !
Did my piano playing at the CAS show then had an entirely new experience ! I went to a vegetarian restaurant - thats ve-geight-hair-ee-an - really wierd - no meat ! I mean all there was was like beetroots and turnips and toffru and stuff - I had the beans !
Early night tonite - gonna take it easy for a while - me , Isme ( my horse ) and Billy the kid all snuggled down in a rented flat - poetic aint it .
Wednesday 9th August
10.47 Clint is in the Dairy room : Folks . come to the show today - looks like the goat is gonna make it's debut - it's a bit nervous but should deliver a solid performance !
2.15 Just been to see Meeting Joe Strummer - not really very Country and Western music but I'd recommend it all the same - great acting , I think - might have actually been real ! Off to do my show now . . . . .
7.38pm Well it didn't really work out - the goat just made noises backstage and didn't appear on cue - I managed to cover for it ! Apart from that the show went very well - a small but very appreciative audience - waiting for the reviews to come out now !
After the show went to a place called 'The Body Shop' - not a body to be seen - just soap and stuff - bought some fox and lime nose rub.
The Count Arthur show went great - Daniel Kitson and Edward Woodwood were in the audience -- hey I didn't mention I met Norman Wisdom last night - yeeehaw !
Think I'm gonna stay in and have a strum tonight - bit tired .
Clint
Tuesday 8th August
8am The goat is looking a little under the weather - she's lying on the dining room table with a strange look in her eyes - so gonna take her for a walk up to Arthur's seat and she can have a sniff around - speak to you later -
12.30 pm Well we had a chat and it turns out that the goat wants to be in the show - reckons it can play ukelele and yodel ! Well , we're going to rehearse tomorrow morning and see if we can get something together .
Apart from that had a cracking show - great crowd ! And the Count Arthur show went just swimmingly !
Spent the evening chewing some tobaccy and watching The Antonio Forcione Quartet - totally fantastic ! Then saw Voodoo Vaudeville - skin of the moon - really quite an eye opener - especially the moon parts !Think it spooked Isme who galloped like the wind on the way home - nearly lost my hat !
speak t'morra
Clint
Monday 7th August
10 am : If You're not in Edinburgh, get on a train or plane or preferably a horse and get up here - the sun is shining , people are smiling and the bagpipes are playing - not country music though - guess you can't have everything !
Lovely warm audience at the show which seems to be getting better and better - I could get to like showbusiness . Hey - the new mic is FANTASTIC - what a difference - every other act i see now I just think - wow they'd sound so much better with an Audix OM5 like me and Willie Nelson have !
Midnite : have kicked off my spurs now and listening to Boston Pete cowboy internet radio - great station to tune into after a long day trailing round Edinburgh and watching some very strange shows - after my performance I went to see some guys called The Goodies who apparently had some sort of TV show years ago in which , amongst other things, they dressed up as cowboys (must have seen my act) . Then on to see Harry Shearer who finishes his set with a line dancing number ( must have seen my act ) Then on to see Jason Byrne who does a whole routine about Brokeback Mountain ( must have seen my act ) - I don't know - it's like everyone's got cowboy fever !
Sunday 6th August
Woke up feelin' famous so did a internet search for famous artists, country uk ( to see if I was in the top ten ) . Well apparently the number one uk country artist is someone called Constable ! I aint never heard anything he dun .
Turns out that today was one helluva day - the first day of the festival proper ! Had an amazing house at the Clint show - which I managed to do without adding any new bits along the way AND in the right order - the audience were just beautiful - if any of you have logged in - I love you all, I wish I knew you all .
Count Arthur show was a humdinger too . Afterwards went for a sasparilli at a local bar then went to see John Otway give a lecture - v v odd - but this is the Edinburgh festival after all - there are odd things afoot !
Saturday 5th August
10am : Hey - my new microphone has arrived ! Got an Audix OM 5 just like Willy Nelson - have been striking poses all around the room with my bandana on ! Can't wait to get on stage .
9.30pm Well It felt like the Featival started today although it actually starts tomorrow - intruiging huh ?Much bigger audience - I actually did the set in the right order , although I couldn't resist throwing an extra song in for good measure - a French song ! I mean what cowboy act is complete without a French song ?
The Count Arthur show was sold out and pretty damn crazy .
Back at the homestead now , gonna rustle up some beans and coffee then go to see the sights !
Friday 4th August
Had a sore head this morning so got up late - managed to get my set list mixed up with my shopping list so tried to start the Clint Westwood show with a song called greek yogurt and honey - might actually write that one for tomorrow !
1pm went to see Iron Brew playing at the same venue as me - I had no idea what it was going to be - maybe a comedy ? Definately not ! It' s a play ! I'm not used to all that serious stuff but geewhizz this is real good and proper proper acting , not like the in church hall back home - I cried !
3.15 (my show) Good show again - audience were a little quiet but clapped REALLY loudly at the end to make up for it - I'm really getting to like my stage and all ! There was one hiccup when Count Arthur Strong called me in the middle of the show to say he didn't need a honey jar ! I managed to incorporate the ringtone into a song - I don't think anyone noticed !
6.27pm : Speaking of Count Arthur Strong - I did my first gig for him at the assembly rooms - what a strange man - come to Count Arthur Strong - The Musical (of which I am musical dircetor) and you'll understand what I mean .
Thursday 3rd August
I can't belive it's Thursday already , seems like only yesterday it was Wednesday ! Have spent the morning working on new songs for the show , the best of which seem to be one about a plumber who's split up with his wife - called 'It's Overflo' . Think it's going to be a good show today - feeling all happy and the sun's out - will give you a full report later - C
10.30pm
How about that - i did the show in the right order ! And what an audience - If you were there , thank you again XXX.
After the show went to the Gilded Ballon Press launch where everyone swears blind they're coming to see the show - If they all come we're going to need a bigger theatre !
Grabbed some coffe and beans with the the guys from Meeting Joe Strummer - we had a very merry evening complete with stories , beers and inappropriate remarks to ladies about their daughters -these guys are the real deal - going to see this show for sure .
Wednesday 2nd August
Thought today was going to be a run of the mill day . I got up, ran to to the mill, then realised it's today that I do my first show in the Edinburgh Fridge festival - well it is getting kinda chilly up here . My guitar and stage gear are arriving about 10 minutes before I go on stage which makes the whole experience more exciting and gives the show the sort of tension that is normally so hard to achieve ! Will report back later - C
8PM
Well the show was a great success despite me doing most of the songs in the wrong order - no one seemed to mind and all yeehawed and yahooed in the right places - there was an odd moment whe a fake head started to talk back to me - or did I imagine that ?
After my show I went to see the amazing Gamarjobat at the Gilded ballooon - same venue as me - make sure you see them if You're in Edinburgh ( after you been to see me and Count Arthur Strong of course ) Im off the play piano for the Count now - speak tomorrow
Clint
Tuesday 1st August
I have arrived ! I rode to the top of Arthur's Seat which looks out over the City of Edinburgh and pronouned to the World I HAVE ARRIVED ! No one could hear me of course - too far away .
A couple of older folk stopped me on the way down and spoke to me in a wierd voice - didn't know what they were saying so I just pointed upwards and went on my way .
Apart from that it looks like it's going to be a pretty interesting day - I am doing the tehnical get-in for my show at the Gilded Balloon - unfortunately , none of my gear arrives until tomorrow so I'm not sure what I'm going to do there. There is a pretty good chance nothing will arrive till after the show starts so I might have to do something else - Looking for tap dancing lessons as we speak !
PS Did the technical get-in in 10 minutes with no equipment - stood on the stage , turned the lights on and off then left - this is easy !
Monday 31st July
Had just finished packing the saddlebags and was about to head off to Scotland when the skies opened and the rain came down like I never seen before .
I immediately recalled an old trackers ruse that can be used in this situation - I first checked the direction of the wind , looked at the cloud formations , made sure I was on level ground and then went into the nearest pub for three hours until the rain stopped.
Turns out it was a fine plan - got chatting , told some stories and sang some songs with some locals ( Hello Brian Levenson ) off to Edinburgh at first light.
Sunday 30th : no Entry
Saturday 29th July
Spent most of yesterday out on the trail . . of some new shoes . . . . never got nothing .
Got home and rustled up some beans on the 'ol campfire and settled down under the stars and played my guitar - I'll tell you - was an inspiring sight - I wrote a song that started ' Oh Gemini oh Gemini - the twins of Castor and Pollux ' - I won't go on right now - but it was pretty good .
Think I may have had too many of them there beans - Isme ( my horse) is complaining - I told him at least they were organic .
Friday 28th July
Hot diggingy dawg ! Got myself a new microphone - an Audix just like the one Willie Nelson uses - I am, as you guys say, shuffed to bits ! Really looking forward to Edinburgh now !
Thursday 27th July
These boots are made for walkin'
Found some boots I like - they were £500 in a Sale !!! Obviously NOT made for walkin' (did not buy them - any donations graciously recieved!)
new idea for a song - about a girl who's name I can't remember.
still not ready to go .
Wednesday 26th July
I’m getting kinda worried about my friend Alan – he’s just a normal guy from Haywards Heath (near Gatwick airport) but the poor guy is convinced he’s a cowboy!
Writing a new song on ukulele – played a little Aria one in a music shop is Charing Cross Road and couldn’t resist – Haven’t got any words yet – but some pretty mean chords are happening – actually , if this is going to be in the act , I’m gonna need an electric uke – does that exist?
Got a good luck card from my sister Jolene – now Jolene aint actually my sister, she’s my cousin – we’ve always been very close.
Now how about this – turns out I’m doin two shows in Edinburgh (which I have found out, is in Scootland by the way) – I’ve just scored the gig as piano player in ‘Count Arthur Strong – the musical’, this should be pretty damn challenging as I don’t play the piano – but hell, I need the money – 6.15 every day at the Assembly rooms – can’t wait! If anyone else out there wants something playing give me a yell, no pink oboe messages please – someone’s already caught me out with that one.
10.30pm
Have just performed the show to a very selective audience – Alan! He seemed to like it – shouted Yeehaw at the end! Five days to go.
Tuesday 25th July 2006
Fortunately, It’s only 3 o’clock in the afternoon and I’m on my own – so no problem there. And to be honest my bags are NOT packed and I’m definitely NOT ready to go.
But yeehaw, looks like I’m off to Edinburgh with my new show ‘Just You, Me and the Mountain goat – It’s very exciting for me – I aint never been to Wales before , I sure am looking forward to drinking some of that there Guinness. Done a couple of preview shows down the South of England – the folks were real nice to me – The Evening Argus in Brighton said Dolly Parton would be proud of my songs – that’s far out – I love you Evening Argus – you’re country through and through.
I have just found out how much money it costs to put on a show in Edinburgh - Hotdog! This is gonna take some doin’ – by the time I bought guitar strings and pics and got a place to stay with a stable for Isme ( my horse ) not to mention a little field for the goat this is going to cost the best part of my life savings – those new boots are gonna have to wait.
Luckily I got some pretty nice folk helping me out - The guys at Hofner have made me a new guitar – This is just the coolest guitar company in the World , - these guys have got it going on – no question! Now – here’s a good one – I don’t have to worry about them there guitar strings ‘cos the folk at Music Sales are going to sort me out a special deal AND they are supplying me with special musical toilet paper , for the run ( I think that’s what it said ) – can’t wait to see that.
Well I’m gonna run out for supplies now – I’m nearly outa beans. I’ll be on that train in 6 days – first show 2nd August – should be fun – I got a heap of new songs I gotta play in.